The past, present and the future
Below is a diary written by a left-behind child, with the trace of tears seen on the pages, we can see read child's thoughts and see how he was desperate of having a sweet family. (We extracted down the diary, parts of the diary have been modified.)
The past, present and the future
Once upon a time, I had a nice family; but now, my home is fully covered with dusts; in future, I desire to own a sweet family.
The old warmth
I still can recall the old times when mom and dad were at home. We lived a hard but happy life. Every day, after I came back home from school I would drop down the school bag and went to play in field with playmates, and we were reluctant to leave until the sun has disappeared on the horizon. Then my mom would find me and stay in front of me, taking me up from the ground and gently clearing the dusts on my clothes, she would also pretend to scold me in several words before I quickly ran back home for I knew that there must be a hot meal ready on the table at home waiting for us……
In the slack farming season, dad would take the younger brother and I to go fishing. We were not good at fishing, but anyway it could help to kill some time. And more importantly, if we could catch some fish our meal would be improved a little. Therefore, in that season, I would run back home with the younger brother before we set out for fishing together. In the sunset, the golden waves rippled on the water, attracting fish swimming back and forth over the water. And our laughter was also left there and around. And gradually we grew up.
The present loneliness
It is often heard that one will learn to cherish what he owns after he has missed them. Maybe it is now when I start to understand its deep meaning. When mom and dad got on the bus heading for another city, I chuckled and thought, "I am free now, with no one kept his eyes on me." But at times and times when I took convenient noodles for meals, when I saw piles of clothes that have not been washed, when I expected to hear someone saying hello to me when I came back home, should I realize that how ridiculous and naive was I. After times and times of suffering from loneliness, however, I found myself have went astray. I hated to go to school, became ignorant and incompetent, stayed out all night, anything that I should not touch and learn. It is like taking drugs, knowing it is wrong to do that, but still cannot help being addicted in it. Just occasionally when I was alone I would look around the empty house before the regretful tears ran down from my face.
Until one day when I read a report that a network addict chose to commit suicide after he failed to stand the temptation and indulged himself into the network's virtual world and could not face up with the great difference between such virtual world and the reality. In which I seemed to see our own shadow, with a little scary, I spent nearly one month locking myself up and conducting self-examination before I again, became the so-called well-behaved student. But still, everything looked like the same, every time when I arrived home, there was only the empty and dusty home to welcome me.
The economy at home, of cause has been greatly improved. But I was confused that such change for me at the price of family bonds is happiness or merely sadness.
In future, I desire to have a sweet family
I have got used to this reality. Sometimes my mom and dad asked me on the phone if I expected them to come home or not, although I did not give them the real answer in my heart, still, I has been eager for the hot meals on table when I arrive home, gaining affection and care from parents like other children do when I am sick, and hearing laughter before I enter the home. How desperate of I am of these! If only my life can be back in this way, nothing will be difficult for us even if we need to live a hard life.
From now on, I was desperate of going back to my warm and sweet home. |
Now my home is fully covered with dusts.
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